the Weird, Bad and Lazy Cook

Yield: 2-3 person Ingredients: 500gm ketam bunga (3 medium flower crab) 500gm santan pekat 4-5 ulas kunyit hidup (dalam 2 inci) Segenggam cili padi 1 cawan air (atau lebih) 2 batang serai, dititik 1 keping asam gelugur 3 tsp garam Nenas Optional: 100gm tempe, hiris halus 1 batang lada hijau besar, potong besar, belah dua Steps: 1. Tumbuk lumat / blend halus kunyit dan cili padi. Pakai air secukupnya. Masukkan ke dalam periuk. 2. Masukkan santan, garam, serai, nenas, lada besar, asam gelugur dan tempe. Selaraskan amaun air dengan kesukaan masing-masing. 3. Masak / reneh atas api kecil. Sering kacau supaya santan tidak pecah ataupun melimpah ruah ke luar periuk. 4. Setelah mendidih, perasakan kuah. 5. Masukkan ketam. Reneh sehingga ketam masak dan rasa ketam menyerap ke kuah. Mungkin dalam 5 - 15 minit. Hidang panas.

Note 1:  I tried to make whipped cream, but accidentally overwhipped it into butter & buttermilk 🤣... Since I have bread, why not make butter chicken for brunch. It is loosely inspired from an Indian recipe. I accidentally churned butter from 200ml whipping cream. Note 2:  Heat the butter with 1 tbsp cooking oil to avoid burnt butter. Note 3:  This butter chicken is a little sour. You can adjust if you like, but I like it sour. Since it is quite acidic, be careful not to introduce too much cream or dairy based ingredients into it as it may curdle & become bitter. Ingredients Part A - Spice Mix 2 buah keras 4-5 cardamom 2 cloves Coriander seeds Cumin seeds Fennel seeds Fenugreek seeds Black peppercorns Part B - Butter Chicken Accidental butter 1 tbsp carotena oil 1 star anise 1 tbsp garlic & ginger paste 1/2 tbsp chili flakes / powder 1 tbsp spice mix Coriander leaves root 1 bay leaf 1 medium red onion, sliced thinly 1 medium tomato, diced 100gm tomato paste 4 aloo bukhara

Ingredients: Fish & Beer (Non-Alcoholic) Batter 8 small pieces of fish Extra flour for coating Oil for frying 1/2 cup of wheat flour 2 tbsp of rice flour Salt Dill flakes 3 ice cubes 1/2 - 3/4 can of cold non-alcoholic beer (Santori) Tartare Sauce 1/2 cup of mayonnaise Cucumber dill pickles, diced Capers Chives, finely minced Coriander, finely minced Mint (a little bit), finely minced Dill flakes Milk (to lighten the sauce) Mushy Peas 1/2 cup of frozen peas, boiled and strained 1-2 tbsp of butter 1 pinch of chicken stock Accompaniments Lemon wedges Chips / french fries Steps:

Note 1: Inspired by Vincenzo (Italian) from Youtube. Note 2: If using fresh ground meat, can sautee veggies first with a little oil. If using Ramly / processed minced meat, sautee meat first without oil because they are highly fatty. Yield:  4-6 person Ingredients: Beef Ragu / Beef Bolognese 400gm 50% lean-50% fatty minced meat 1 holland onion, finely diced 1 stick of carrot, finely diced 1 stick of celery, finely diced 4-5 sticks of daun sup (asian parsley), finely minced 1 can ~ 400gm prego tomato (used: tomato, basil garlic) 1 can ~ 400gm chopped tomato 1 can ~ 100gm tomato paste 1 tsp salt Herbs Bechamel Sauce 2 tbsp butter 1 clove of garlic 1 mushroom 2 tbsp flour 2 cups of milk Black pepper Salt Nutmeg Steps:

Yield: 20-25 biji acuan belimbing Batter: 1 cawan tepung gandum 1 cawan santan 1/2 cawan air 1 biji telur 1/4 tsp garam Pewarna kuning Inti: 1/2 biji bawang merah sederhana besar (didadu halus) 4 ulas bawang putih (ditumbuk lumat) 1 inci halia (ditumbuk lumat) Secubit garam kasar (ditumbuk lumat) 200gm daging kisar 1 tbsp serbuk kari 1 tsp lada hitam 1 tsp lada putih 1/2 tsp garam halus 1/2 tsp gula 1/2 kiub pati ayam Sedikit air (kalau terlalu kering) Hiasan: Daun bawang dicincang halus Daun sup dicincang halus Lada merah besar dipotong serong

Bahan-bahan: 1 ekor ikan talapia 2 biji bawang besar 1 batang lada merah besar 2 biji cili bird's eye 2 inci belacan 6-8 keping asam gelugur Cili blend secukupnya (ikut selera) 1 bunga kantan Segenggam daun kesum (ikut selera) 1 biji tomato Segenggam nenas dipotong serong 1/2 tbsp garam kasar Kaedah: 1. Tumbuk kasar bawang, cili merah besar, cili merah kecil, dan belacan. Satukan dalam periuk dengan cili blend sesedap rasa. 2. Tambah asam gelugur dan air secukup rasa. 3. Reneh sehingga menggelegak dan cili agak masak. Mungkin mengambil masa 15-20 minit. 4. Masukkan bunga kantan, daun kesum, dan tomato. Reneh lagi sehingga layu dan naik aroma. 5. Masukkan ikan, garam kasar dan nenas. Reneh seketika sehingga ikan masak. Perasakan dengan cukup garam (dan gula jika mahu). Hidang.

Ingredients 150gm kacang gajus raw split half 150gm gula castor or gula aising 150gm tepung gandum 100gm tepung suji 50gm susu tepung 160gm pure ghee or minyak sapi tulen Yield: 30 - 40 biji biskut kecil Steps 1. Kacang gajus disangai seketika tapi tidak hingga bertukar warna. Sejukkan sebelum grind. 2. Pulse grind kacang gajus sejuk dalam 2-3 seconds burst. Jangan grind kacang gajus panas atau dia akan mula keluarkan minyak untuk jadi peanut butter. Jangan grind berterusan juga untuk mengelakkan haba. 3. Tapis kacang gajus untuk asingkan yang masih kasar dan pulse grind semula. 4. Satukan semua bahan dengan spatula sehingga sebati. Rehatkan seketika dalam 15 minit. 5. Bakar atas baking paper atau small paper cup dalam oven tanpa kipas @ 160°C dalam 10 minit. 6. Tunggu sehingga sejuk baru dialihkan. Dusting (optional): Tepung susu Gula aising