the Weird, Bad and Lazy Cook

Hollandaise Sauce 3 egg yolks, large 1/2 cup (115gm) butter, melted 1 tbsp (1/2 fruit) lemon, juiced Salt, black pepper, fresh dill Whip egg yolks until light and fluffy. Prep for bain marie. Whisk sauce in a double boiler until sauce has lightened in colour and quite thickened. DO NOT LET BOTTOM OF BOWL TOUCH BOILING WATER. BOWL MUST BE LARGE ENOUGH TO HANG ON TOP OF POT. Add melted butter 1 tbsp at a time, whisk continuously. Take off heat once desired consistency is ready Add lemon juice, whisk continuously Add salt, black pepper, and fresh dill, whisk continously. Serve immediately and finish within 4 hours. A way to reuse leftover egg whites Souffle Pancake 20% flour : egg 3 egg whites (around 100-110gm) 3 tsp (25gm) sugar A dash of salt A dash of vanilla essence 2 tbsp (20gm) all purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder 1. Beat egg whites, sugar, salt, and vanilla essence to a stiff meringue. 2. Sift in two batches of all purpose flour and baking powder. Fold in with spatula. 3. Scoop t...

Portion : 1 serving (1 person) 100gm dry vermicelli pasta 4 tbsp (60gm) salted butter 1/2 lemon or 2 tbsp (30gm) lemon juice 2 tbsp (40gm) plum sauce (Angel brand) Black pepper, parsley 1 tsp (6gm) fine sugar 1 clove garlic, smashed 1/2 cup heavy cream (100gm whipping cream, 20gm water) ABSOLUTELY NO SALT 1/2 salmon fillet 3-4 cloves garlic, smashed Fine salt Optional Tomato cherry, halved Sage, tarragon, basil leaves  (for infusing in the sauce) Sauce (adapted from Beurre Blanc) 1. Combine all ingredients except heavy cream (i.e. butter, lemon juice, plum sauce, black pepper, parsley, garlic) into a pot. Heat on smallest, lowest fire while continuously whisking. Do not let the butter broke into clarified butter. 2. Once sauce is simmering, add heavy cream. Whisk continuously until the sauce looks homogenous and warm enough (close to steam but not simmering). Turn off the heat. 3. Serve hot with vermicelli, pan fried salmon, and tomato cherry.

Bagel 265ml water 4gm instant yeast 1 tbsp sugar 445gm all purpose flour 1/2 tbsp barley malt syrup 1/4 tsp fine salt Everything seasoning 2 tbsp spring / holland onion flakes 2 tbsp onion flakes 2 tbsp garlic granules 2 tbsp poppy seed 2 tbsp white sesame 1 tbsp black sesame 1 tbsp salt flakes Mix Knead Cover and proof for 1-2 hours Divide into 6 equal pieces 125gm each ball Shape into a ball Cover and proof for 5 minutes Form into bagel shape Cover and proof slowly in fridge for 4 hours (up to 24 hours), or perhaps 2 hour in room temp Boil in water + barley malt syrup Not for long, until it floats Longer boil, tougher skin Once boiled, can directly coat with everything seasoning Place on baking sheet Bake in oven 180°C for 20-25 minutes

A. Blueberry Muffin Note 1 : Inspired by < https://www.spendwithpennies.com/blueberry-muffins/#wprm-recipe-container-158071 > < https://cakesbymk.com/recipe/lemon-poppy-seed-cake/#recipe > 1/2 cup (115gm) butter 1/2 cup (100gm) sugar 1/2 cup (120gm) milk 1/8 cup (30gm) lemon juice 1/4 tsp fine salt 1/2 cap vanilla essence 2 eggs 2 cups (240gm) flour 2 tsp baking powder 1 tbsp poppy seeds 2 1/4 cups (330-350gm) fresh blueberries 170°C for 30 minutes, uncovered fan top bottom heat B. Chocolate Muffin (Super Lazy) 1/2 cup (125gm) butter  >> a little too dry, perhaps to add another 30gm canola oil? 1/2 cup (125gm) fine sugar  >> not too sweet  perhaps to add another 30gm? 1/2 cap vanilla essence 3 whole eggs 1/4 cup (60gm) full cream milk 2 cups (250gm) flour (220gm all purpose flour, 30gm corn starch) 1/4 cup (30gm) cocoa powder 1/4 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 100gm chocolate chip 5cm base muffin cup (yield ard 20 cups) 160°C fan, uncovered, 2...

2 cups (240gm) flour 3/4 cup (180gm) warm water 2 tbsp (25gm) fine sugar 1/2 tsp (3gm) yeast 1/4 tsp fine salt 1/2 tsp baking soda 1 1/2 tbsp (18gm) cooking oil